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The GGW Weekly Scoop

Hosiery Humour: To Face Cover or Not

Hosiery Humour: To Face Cover or Not

a pistol piggybank and and stocking faced man

To face cover or not?

As I sit binge watching classic film noire B movies, a common theme cropped up. Hosiery and the crime, so, I decided to poke around the internet for a few bits of trivia.

Why hosiery is worn as a face cover by criminals?

I came up with this; the commonly asked question of why hosiery is worn as a face cover by criminals, most notably bank/gas station robbers in film and television.

In a Reddit discussion answers range from;

Most cameras don’t record fucking HD so a stocking is more then enough to blur your visage.

It’s also a movie or video game so it’s probably to make them look stupid or get a laugh.

It "blurs" the facial features yet allows the robbers complete visibility.

Gas station robberies likely aren't something that was planned for a long time, rather an opportunistic, impulse thing so they grab something that is widely available and in most cases good enough to conceal a face.

So, to rob a bank, you’ll probably want to disguise your face to avoid getting caught!

Tv Tropes  goes on to elaborate;

You totally forgot to include that in your bank-robbing plan! You want something better than a Paper-Thin Disguise, but you can't get professional realistic masks. Time for the Stocking Mask.

This trope is Truth in Television, as:

Stockings are cheap and available almost everywhere;

They're light and easy to conceal, while taking little time to put on or take off;

They can provide sufficient masking by distorting your face;

Buying stockings is a mundane thing; which makes it a popular choice among masks.

However, a stocking mask also has disadvantages, such as making the wearer's vision go fuzzy (of course you can cut out holes to reveal your eyes, but that would just complicate things), and very thin stockings can't cover your scars and such. And needless to say, it only covers your face. Also, due to its popularity, anyone wearing one of these in the street will be considered a Blatant Burglar.

Ah the stereotypes, I love it!

I guess no one thought to think of the high tech cameras utilized in most retail outlets, banks and beyond. Or the high tech facial recognition and body analysis by the professionals. Would be burglars and thieves beware, you won’t get very far.

The clownish visage of a good pair of stockings has over a squashed nose.

I’ve always had a good laugh when I see the clownish visage of a good pair of stockings has over a squashed nose. So for me the effect of eliciting a good chuckle has always been successful.

Personally I prefer to see hosiery used for their true intention. On the gorgeous gams of the many who love them like I do.

I could never figure out why they were used as an accessory of crime. Were they an extension of the writer’s fetish for silky smooth softness pulled taught across their faces?

Or as suggested they were cheap, easy to use, and great for facial distortion?

Again I laugh, great quality hosiery sometimes doesn’t come cheap, worn properly, adorns the legs, rather than disfigure. Let’s face it, where there’s a will, there’s a way to use our much loved foundation garment as comical relief.

For those of us in the know and use of hosiery, it’s because we love their intended handling. To cover and accessorize our legs. Yes the softness, colours, patterns, styles. The multitude of options to accessorize our garments of choice. Let’s not forget for warmth.

The sensuality, the sex appeal!

stayup cash and a pistol

Then the sensuality, the sex appeal, and control that goes with it, the power they wield. Ok, yes I’m a fetishist, wink wink, nudge nudge, when it comes to fashion, also practical. They’re a staple in my vast wardrobe I just can’t be without.

However, that doesn’t answer the question of hosiery as bondage?

Time for more research………